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Status of an ongoing course of sessions, woman 35 years -Theme: Stay or leave study

Below your can read a status of a ongoing course of sessions written by a woman, 35 years.

Background 
Gender and age?
Woman, 35 years

How long time has your ongoing course of sessions lasted?
7 months

Why did you choose Spirit and Mind ApS?
Because I had a concrete problem. I wanted to clarify if I should continue my study, that I have been dong for long time , but that I have difficulty getting through, or if I should find a different way. That it became Spirit and Mind ApS has several reasons. I wanted get help for the concrete clarification process. I had been recommended by several to search for a therapist or a coach, that works with positive psychology or has a narrative approach. I searched on the internet after both things. The price that Inge takes pr. hour was low compared to many others. That had great impact on my choice. Further Inge gives student discount. The home page was also appealing and Inge sounded trustworthy on the phone! And after the first meeting with Inge I felt that I was ‘met’and feel good about it.

How would you describe your life/your everyday life before the course of sessions at Spirit and Mind ApS?
When I looked up Inge, I was very occupied with finding out if I wanted to continue the study or find another possibility and a better way. I was sad and confused about what would happen, as I hadn’t passed my internship. Often I came into a bad spiral. Where I thought many negative thoughts about myself and my life. Catastrophic thought e.g. as: ‘Now EVERYTHING goes wrong and I had a hard time turning the situation and the thoughts, so I could move on constructively.

Have you had therapy/coaching before?
Yes, therapy, in several longer periods. It has both been in groups and individually. Coaching I have not tried before.

Is There any difference on the therapy/coaching and the narrative approach?
I think some of the cognitive approach is similar to the narrative approach in the way that you can choose to focus on the preferred/positive part of the story. Where I in the cognitive therapy worked with becoming aware of my thoughts and thereby try consciously to see how probable they were and what I alternatively could think about a given situation, then I have at Inge worked more with focusing on telling the positive preferred stories. As something for me, we have also worked with celebrating the small victories and remembering to have break and a positive mantra in difficult situations. I make a gratitude list daily. I have also cleaned up, quite litterally in many things at home. I have related to if I wanted to keep miscellaneous things and thrown things out I didn’t want. Both as a part of becoming better at choosing and concretely to get a home, that is nice to be in. Inge has written, what I have said in the sessions down using my own words. It is also new to have it in black and white, what I have said, so that I afterwards can return to it and read it. Look at what I thought was important and most is still relevant and important. I have a tendency to downplay it and forget the thematics to some degree. But now it is written on paper and that I can not run from and it is still relevant most of it. Further I think Inge is good at listening and tune in on me. That has great significance – that I feel seen, heard, met and taken seriously.

What effect has this potential difference had on your course of sessions?
I think that I quickly in the course of sessions have gotten some useful tools, After each session I have walked away with more ‘do it’ courage and energy and felt ‘lifted’ mentally. Often also with a feeling that things are more nuanced (in a positive way) as they were just before in my head, and that a lot of things are possible and with an awareness that, I might limit myself more than necessary, because I think a lot in ‘you/I should’ in stead of listening more to what I think, there is most energy in.

Du har gået i en kombination af terapi og coaching hvordan har det været, at de to ting har været kombineret?
Jeg synes, det har været godt at få hurtige hverdags ”her og nu” brugbare redskaber fra coachingen, og jeg kan godt lide, at det er brugbart og ikke graver for meget og længe i fortiden.

Description of thematic and the effect of the course of sessions on the thematic
What was your thematic?

That I hadn’t passed my internship and overall, that the study, I am attending, has been difficult for me to get through. More exams I have retaken and only just passed. I have had difficulty feeling at home in the culture, that exist at the study and in the internships. I have been challenged economically, as I almost had no SU ‘clips’ for the study, so I have had to work a lot a long the way. I have had big considerations if I was on the right track or should change direction. Further I use a lot of energy on considerations all the time and worries and uncertainty and can loose the courage and believe in my own worth. Further thoughts about my life situation regarding my age, no children and husband, appartement, circle of friends, loneliness and economy also taken up a lot. I have felt wrong and been ashamed and displeased with entire situation.

What is the story about the thematic? Have you known it long?
Yes probably since I attended HF and got some bad grades (I also got several good ones) but a couple were super low, amongst others English, where I did everything to hide myself. It was contributing to my average being low and it cut me off from some continued study opportunities and shocked me, as I thought it was max shamefacedly. So there I lost a lot of my faith in my technical abilities and lost probably also a sense of direction and thought I was a lame allround and it affected my self confidence a lot also socially, and there I was with all my missing talents and had to get by and be an adult, and I had no trust in it, not a lot of experience and was shamefaced and didn’t know how to handle it, and I thought I got a depression and was very alone in this situation. Further I have probably always be a little vulnerable and sensitive. It has always meant a lot to me, that I was liked amongst friends and others I saw. I have probably not been so independent in that sense, that I dared stand by myself. I have leaned up against girlfriends. Further I have had a sense that I on several area have been very left to myself familywise. I have had difficulty to let go ‘properly’ of my mother and have found it difficult having to be an adult. Early I have also had to take the responsibility for things, I properly wasn’t totally mature enough for.

What effect has the course of sessions had on your everyday life so far?
I have less hours, where I am sad and waste my time with that. I have allowed myself to take periods with time out from the study and to consider my values, potentials and options. More breaks in the everyday. Give myself permission to listen more to myself. Bigger acceptance of my situation of life, so therefore not so many negative thoughts. And therefore I can better act, and is less paralyzed Sleep better when I have made gratitude list before I go to bed and remember to appreciate ALL that there IS to be grateful about, and thereby I can allow myself to be happy even that ALL is not according to my liking.

Has changes occurred in your thought about yourself?
Yes, I accept myself and my life situation a lot more.

Has any changes occurred in your relationship and your communication with other people?
Yes, I think I more often is more relaxed that before and have more energy in me and believe in my own worth. And then it is easier to be in contact, when you don’t see yourself as the ‘underdog’. I have also a couple of times confronted some from my circle of friends with some things. It has just small safe things, but it has been a positive and powerful experience.

Has changes occurred on your work, your study and/or in your spare time?
Have allowed myself more breaks. Less hours with negative thoughts.

How has the course of sessions so far affected your choices/decisions/considerations?
I think, that I hav allowed myself more and acceptance of, that there is something, I want more and other things and more acceptance of, that I am allowed that more often than earlier. I am allowed to investigate, what it is and tale my time to feel and listen to it and follow it, I practice on smaller areas, that has less consequences, if I choose ‘wrong’. We work with, that I concretely must declutter my things and relate to each thing, if I want it or not. It is good to become decluttered and at the same time, it is an exercise in choosing and to consider and take decisions. But I also believe, that the fact that I have been so privileged, that I have gotten leave approved and have more time to work with several things I want to and have gotten a break from the study, it helps me that I better can feel myself. For me it requires a lot of time and calmness to come to a place where I can make big decisions, that have major consequences. It requires time and calmness for me to feel if it is a decision I can vouch for.

Is there so far skills you have developed in the course of sessions?
Better at becoming aware of everything, I can be and is grateful for, maybe a little more trust in the future and the people around me. The ability to turn a negative thought spiral and thereby also bad mood and being paralyzed. Can see more nuances.

Has changes occurred in areas, that are not directly linked to your original thematic?
Think my attitude to finding a boyfriend has changed. I believe the course of sessions along with other things have influenced that..

What has potentially gotten easier since you started your course of sessions?
To stop the spirals of negative thoughts and thereby also easier having the ability to act.

Are there things you want more after your started your course of sessions?
Maybe to follow some feelings and my desire more, but in small safe steps!

Which personal values have your potentially gotten closer to during the course of sessions?
That I can vouch for what I choose to do also in the work relations. Time and calmness for things. Maybe to follow some intuition, sense? Time and calmness for thoughtfulness and sufficient sleep! Things I choose must to a higher degree give sense to me, respect myself and my own boundaries and ability to take care of myself. A vulnerability and sensitivity, that I have to respect and care for. Maybe I can use it positively and maybe develop the sensitive / sensing side further. Creativity, playful approach, respectfulness, caring and thoroughness.

If you should name what you have taken with you from the course of sessions so far in one word, what would it be?
Experience with that things can be turned into something more positive and the contact was positive and concrete tools: Gratitude list, decluttered the kitchen!, methods for cleaning up.

Effect of the course of sessions so far
What have you so far taken with you from you ongoing course of sessions?

Gratitude list, decluttering method, cleaning up on kitchen and a lot in my room Acceptance and gratitude.

What has been the most significant with the course of sessions so far?
The contact with Inge. The gratitude list, decluttering. Theoretical opening for opportunities and to make status.

How effective would you assess the course of sessions to have been so far?
It has certainly been effective. I have and have in the entire course of sessions needed a lot of time and preferred to influence a few things at a time. It has been important for me, that it has been my ambitions and in me tempo and not in Inge’s.

How is it to talk to Inge?
Inge is good at fast getting to the current and relevant thematic. She is present and positive, filled with energy and you get to keep your feeling for yourself (in the good way). That there never is ‘over analyzed’ on my feelings and that no weight is put on, that ‘oh it also a shame (pitying)’. Inge is good at keeping the overview at turning the situation to something positive, always in a very respectful way and then Inge also has humor! Think Inge has been good at ‘meeting me’ as an individual person, in the sense that I haven’t felt like one of many on a conveyor belt and I have not felt as a ‘patient’ It has been an experience of equality, as much as such a situation is possible.

You have spoken with Inge over the phone, how was that?
Yes! This modern Skype! It has been good to talk via phone. There has not been a big difference compared to talking with Inge ‘live’. But it is probably also because it has only been a couple of times, so your don’t loose the contact , as it isn’t long ago that we have met face to face. So a really good alternative.

Would you recommend Spirit and Mind ApS to others?
Yes , definitely.

Have you an advise to others with a similar thematic?
Talk with somebody, that are good to talk to and present. Take time – if possible! Make a plan of action along the way and the gratitude list, it is simple and very effective.

Effekt af forløb og tanker omkring det videre forløb
Har du en fornemmelse af, hvordan det går i forløbet og hvordan forløbet hjælper dig?

Det har støttet mig og givet mig nogle af de allerede nævnte redskaber. Jeg vil gerne til at handle mere, end jeg gør nu. Jeg vil gerne have hjælp til en realistisk og overskuelig plan for dette med nogle delmål.

How and what do you feel potential changes?
Acceptance and more calmness.

Do you have a sense of where focus (potentially several focuses) should be in your current course of sessions?
Small realistic steps of action, that I keep:
• Decluttering plan
• Reading plan for study
• Priority of EVERYTHING, I want to do.
• Is it realistic to unite the study and the sides and areas that I also want to follow maybe more spiritually/investigating??
• Maybe specify which things. Can I be me with my inner and most prioritized values on the study? Must I give it a try, what kind of values will it be and when will I experience that I can’t be ‘me’.

If you should describe the place you are now with one word, which word would you use?
One word I can’t! The ‘place of action’ or ‘Out making experiences place’. Must act/investigate in practice. Want to make some detailed concreate action plans with Inge and stick to them! Or else I should just ‘dive in to it’ and make my experiences and handle the things along the way in my study. And then I think about if I should ‘pursue’ the more sensitive sides in me. I have a hard time seeing that it is possible to unite with continuing on my study. And I also want to reasoning and the concrete and practical and ‘ensure’ maybe possibility opening studies. Mostly I want to follow ‘ME’ and my ‘intuition’ and the side of myself I like AND maybe it is just a failure and dreams and hope and a little escape from the at times tough reality of the world?

What is the effect of making a status in you current course of sessions?
It clarifies what has changed and what will happen in the future. And when I have to formulate myself in writing, I also become more aware and more ready!

Spirit and Mind ApS

Spirit and mind ApS has since 2009 worked with therapy and coaching in English. One of the narrative method’s ways is to bring the preferred stories forward and thicken them in the everyday life. Preferred storries are storries told in the context of life worth living, happiness and meaningsfullness. Preferred storries can also be the story of having a balanced life, where duties, family and fun can co-exist.

Please click here to go to the English homepage of Spirit and Mind ApS.

At the homepage you will find information about the various treatment options, suggestions for potential themes for each treatment type and information about Spirit and Mind ApS including a full CV.

Prices and Discount

Spirit and Mind ApS wishes that therapy and coaching is an option for all and gives discount to: Students, unemployed and retired people. No discount is given on couples- and family therapy.

See prices here

Times and Contact

At Spirit and Mind ApS you can get sessions with Inge G. F. Larsen outside regular working hours.

See times at Spirit and Mind ApS here

Contact Spirit and Mind ApS here

Narrative sessions with discount at Frederiksberg and over Skype

Spirit and Mind ApS provides individual therapy and coaching, business & executive coaching, outplacement, couples- and family therapy as well as therapy with children and teenagers at Frederiksberg and over Skype based on the narrative approach. Further Spirit and Mind ApS works with gifted children, which are children with an IQ above 125.

Get an overview over all the options for treatments here

See further information on Spirit and Mind ApS’ English homepage here

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