Below you can read a status of an ongoing course of sessions written by a woman of 34 years, that has had 2 sessions before the status is made.
The status gives an impression of how it is to start a course of sessions and how already other and more preferred stories have started to form towards amongst others the thematics anxiety and stress.
Some place in the text anonymizations have been made.
Gender and age?
Woman, 34 years
Part of Denmark?
How long has your ongoing course of sessions lasted so far nu?
2 times on a month.
Why did you choose Spirit and Mind ApS?
Because it was cheap, as I am a student.
Have you had therapy/coaching before? Is there any difference on that therapy/coaching and the narrative approach? Which effect has this potential difference had on your course of sessions so far?
I have had therapy before, and I think there is a difference on the narrative method and what I else have tried. The narrative method separate the anxiety from me, when I was asked about, what the anxiety tells me and that has a rather positive effect, as it, in that way, gives me an alternative to how I see myself. I am not the anxiety and I have a choice, regarding which light I want to see myself in.
How will you describe your life/everyday life before the course of sessions at Spirit and Mind ApS?
As I have not had the course of sessions so long yet, I have not seen a hughe difference yet. My life before was/is very stressful. I also think, I had more anxiety before my course of sessions. I was more confused before, as I basically believed what the anxiety told me, as least while the anxiety was present.
What is the story about the thematic? Have you known it long?
I have know the story about the thematic long, about 12 years, now I think I know the thematic pretty well, but I can still struggle a lot with it, because I still have some denial about the conditions I grew up in. That shows in that I compare myself to people that has more ressources than I and disdains that way myself. At times I am reminded of the background I come from, which luckily means, that I again become symphatic about myself and what I struggle with.
The story of my thematic is both complicated and long. Most of my early childhood years I luckily remember as good. It all started to go bad, when my mother and I moved to the country: XXX. I was 7 years old at that time and was alone with my mother, as I am an only child and she had no man a that time. She started rather quickly, after we had gotten to XXX to get a lot of strong mood swings, so I never knew which mood she was in. The mood swings was either to be happy, funny and sweet or furious, to such a degree, that I was often affraid of her. I also didn’t knew what was ok for me to do, something which was totally ok one day, I got a scolding for the next day etc. That meant in the end, that I could feel myself and my own feelings, as I was busy decoding her mood, which I became a master in , every little mimic I analyzed and I became totally co-dependent and consumed by her.
But I had after all surplus to sometimes make resistance. She started to pur me down and compare me to others, by asking why I was not as smart and playful in my expression as my girlfriends. I especially remember an episode, where I sad in the kitchen with my mother and her girlfriend. We sad cozily, and suddenly my mother started to critique me for a lot of different things, I felt bullied by her. Her girlfriend went along with it, and I felt the critique come down on me from both of them. I can’t remember how I reacted towards them, but I went to my room and packed a bag and then I was going to go. I was caught and unfortunately not listened to, but laughed at. This episode happened again with the same woman and my mother. I absolutely didn’t feel safe in the world I lived in, it was not something I was thinking consciously, but I was just alert, on guard and isolated me from others.
In the same period I was exposed to some indirect sexual assaults. I slept often at my mother, as I was often scared during the night, I have probably been 8 years old. It also often happened that there was a knock on the door in the middle of the night, where it often was my mother’s girlfriend’s boyfriend XXX. One night where I slept at her (my mother) room, there was a knock on the door and it was XXX. I had fallen asleep again, but as I woke up again in the middle of the night, my mother and him had intercourse just next to me. I precisely knew what was happening, so it was not that I was affraid if she should get hurt, but it was completely terrible. I became paralyzed to the bed and I really wanted to get away, but couldn’t. In a way I tried to disappear anyway, I remember the feeling of a black blanket being placed over me and I disappeared. but I can also remember that I cried a lot. It happened 3 times on 3 different times. I started to feel, she was disgusting and sticky, and I didn’t like, if she wanted to touch me. I asked her once a morning after one of the assaults, why she was doing it, but she ignored me. I have later spoken to her about it, where she, in my opinion changed the story.
When I was 14 years old, we moved back to Denmark. I was at that time a very quiet and despondent girl, that had difficulty to play and be spontaneous.
My mother had met a new man, that was called XXX. We moved in together with him, when we came to Denmark. In the beginning he was nice, but quickly I found out he had a mega temper. It was particularly towards me when my mother wasn’t home, but I off course told her, what had happened, when she got home, it just didn’t help. According to him I was not to be seen or heard. He scolded me about anything, as for example that it made noise when I stirred in a cup (sugar in tea), when I closed a cabinet door, when I walked across the floor, anything, which just was about putting his anger on me. I did the only thing I had learned, I adjusted. So I learned to be invisible and totally quiet, when I stirred a cup, closed a cabinet door and walked across the floor etc.
At the same time he started to make inappropriate remarks about my look and often walked into my room without knocking. Once I had just been showering and was therefore naked when he walked in. He just stood looking at me for long time, totally indifferent with my boundaries. I tried to look, as if I was indifferent, it became important to me to not show vulnerability towards him. When he scolded me, he yelled loudly with a lot of swearwords. I started to fell a strong hatred towards him and fantasized about that I wished, I could destroy him psychologically.
I often cried alone, but tried also to hold it back by making myself cold, it ended up hurting to be so sad. I isolated myself in my room, away from my mother and XXX. But I missed my mother, but could also not stand them. After having lived in Denmark for 1 year, I started to get friends from school. I enjoyed having them as my free space and to come home to their families, as they were having a cozy time.
When I was 16 years old, I developed bulimia and anorexia at the same time, that meant I strongly controlled what I ate and when I finally ate, I threw it up. Some times I also ate wildly and threw it up and other times I only ate half a bun on an entire day. I also started to cut myself, it was not a lot , but a little bit, often connected to other things, for example a time where I wanted to do my feet by removing hard skin. I had a foot skin cutter, where I took the blade out of, as I thought it was not effective enough. I, by coincident, cut myself, so I bleeded, but I couldn’t stop, I became totally obsessed that all my hard skin had to be removed, so I ended up with a rather bloody foot, somehow I could reduce my pain treshold, so it didn’t hurt, other times I experimented with how much it would take before I got a cut.
When i was 19 years old, a big break happened at home. I was sleeping, when I was woken by my mother, who said that I and XXX had to talk, as they had been discussing our problems a late night. I stood up and went into the living room, where he sat. I don’t remember the words, but I remember, that he was mad at me, my mother sat in a chair next to us. He started to say how dissatisfied his was with me, which I tried to defend. Suddenly I broke down and started to cry, which in itself was rather hard, as I had decided, that he was not allowed to see me vulnerable.
He got even more encuraged by that, after which he ended up standing bend over me and yelled me into my face, but I cried. My mother did nothing in this situation. She did, however, pack a bag, as we went over to some family. After that I never came home to live again and never saw the man XXX again.
ILater I have asked my mother why she didn’t do anything in that situation, she answered, that she wanted to see, how far he would g, as I had told, that he often got furious when she wasn’t home, but he when she asked him.
There are similar other stories, but I have mentioned the most important to give an insight into my story.
It must also be mentioned, that I have a thing I have forgotten; as we lived in the country XXX, my mother sister got sick and my mother wanted to go home to her. She said to me, that she had to go to Denmark without me, and she didn’t know when she was going to be back. I was looked after by a couple she knew. The entire episode is something I have forgotten, when she mentions friends, that she says I also know, then I don’t recall them at all, also not that she left. But I sometimes get a strong feeling of being alone and left alone. I think it is very important for me to work with the forgotten part of my life.
Today I can have problems with nervousness and stress, based on what I have wrote.
Effect of the course of sessions until now
What do you take with you from the course of sessions until now?
It has been calming to see my anxiety from a different perspective, that being that I don’t have to believe, what it tells me. It has also been fantastic just to talk about the entire thematic.
What has been the most significant from the course of sessions until now?
The course of sessions had not been so long yet, but never the less it has meant a lot to talk so openly about my anxiety and about what it tries to tell me. I also feel, there is focus on my ressources, which I think cognitively can help to change my thought patterns towards some more positive. It is really good for me.
How effective would you say the course of sessions has been until now?
It’s hard to say on this point in time, also as I have had trust issues and can be affraid to open up. But it feels effective against my anxiety.
How does it feel to speak with Inge?
I think Inge seems very trustworthy and seems caring and gentle. She has some good perspectives, that are totally new for me, so at times it is also challenging for me to understand. But I think that is just good.
You have gotten a pdf-fil after each sessions with an abstract of your own words;
Notes: How have you used these notes?
I have read them through a couple of days after I spoke with Inge.
Notes: Has the notes helped you/made some things easier?
I think, I understand my situation with a bigger overview, when I have read the notes compared to if I hadn’t. It also meant I can more easily follow my own process.
Notes: How often and how have you used the notes?
I have not used the notes as much I would like. I have just read them once, a couple of days after the sessions, but would like to use them more in order to monitor how I develop and it there are pitfalls, that are important to work with.
What is the effect on your everyday life so far?
My anxiety and stress have reduced a little.
Has changed occurred in your thoughts about yourself?
Yes, I can better ask myself about, what my anxiety it trying to tell me now and thereby think about if I believe it.
Has changes occurred in your relationship and your communication to other people?
I think I mostly am more calm and feel more confident.
Has changes occurred in your behaviour and thoughts towards other people?
Not really, I maybe allow myself more to be mad at my mother and not become as co-dependent on the ones close to me.
Has changes occurred on your work and/or your spare time?
I have startet to take myself more serious in my study, eventough I still think it is difficult. I have started to paint a lot more and have found the courage to exhibit in a small café.
How has the course of sessions until now influences your choices/decisions/considerations?
Not so much until now, but I think that I trust myself more and therefore is not so affraid if what I feel is right. I said , for example, no thank you to a job, that was a good student job, but that I could feel stressed me and I knew beforehand that I would be able to overview it. It was a difficult process with a lot of doubt, but I listened to my feelings in the end.
Are there skills, that you have developed during the course of sessions so far?
No, not yet.
Has changes occurred in areas, that is not directly connected to your original thematic?
I have become at setting myself free, when I paint and let go of the control.
What has potentially become easier since your started your course of sessions?
To accept my anxiety and stress, to do things even that I am scary of them, for example to be disciplined (at times).
Are there some things you have gotten more interest in after you have started your course of sessions?
To take care of myself in a good way and care for myself.
Which personal values have you potentially gotten closer to during your course of sessions so far?
That I am warm and kind, but also strong and that acknowledging it has gotten a little easier. An acceptance of own vulnerability, anxiety and stress.
The future – thoughts about the continued course of sessions
How do you feel potential changes?
By that my surplus is bigger and that I don’t care so heavily about things anymore.
What helps you to hold onto the potential changes?
The joy of being more relaxed and take myself more serious. The exercises from Inge will also help to hold on to it.
Can you recommend Spirit and Mind ApS to others?
Yes, for sure.
Do you have a feeling where focus (potentially several focuses) should be in your future course of sessions?
Yes I have, there are several focuses, my anxiety, stress and what it is caused by and how I can change that. Apart from that to open more up of own ressources.
If you should describe the place you stand right now with one word, which word would you use?
What is the effect of making a status of your course of session?
My process and my responsibility for the process makes me aware and I am forced to think about my work with myself in a different way than if these questions hadn’t been there. That means in the end also, that I am more involved in my own psychological work and thereby that I get better at continuing on my own and maintaining the development, when I am not in therapy.
Spirit and Mind ApS
Spirit and mind ApS has since 2009 worked with therapy and coaching in English. One of the narrative method’s ways is to bring the preferred stories forward and thicken them in the everyday life. Preferred storries are storries told in the context of life worth living, happiness and meaningsfullness. Preferred storries can also be the story of having a balanced life, where duties, family and fun can co-exist.
At the homepage you will find information about the various treatment options, suggestions for potential themes for each treatment type and information about Spirit and Mind ApS including a full CV.
Prices and Discount
Spirit and Mind ApS wishes that therapy and coaching is an option for all and gives discount to: Students, unemployed and retired people. No discount is given on couples- and family therapy.
Times and Contact
At Spirit and Mind ApS you can get sessions with Inge G. F. Larsen outside regular working hours.
Narrative sessions with discount at Frederiksberg and over Skype
Spirit and Mind ApS provides individual therapy and coaching, business & executive coaching, outplacement, couples- and family therapy as well as therapy with children and teenagers at Frederiksberg and over Skype based on the narrative approach. Further Spirit and Mind ApS works with gifted children, which are children with an IQ above 125.