How is it going with you and your partners relationship? Are you still together or separated?
Still together or separated – this status is influenced long before you make the actual decision to move physically apart.
Often we meet couples that act more as two individuals that a couple. What has happened?
Somehow the togetherness, the “we” has been taken out the equation, and substituted by an “I”. The thought may no longer be on what is best for the relationship, but what is best for “me”.
Forgetting the “we” and the relationship invites to individualism and for some couples also to competition.
Who has the right to relax? Avoid the cleaning/the dished/the laundry?
The focus become more on how to win an argument, that being in the relationship. The individual that win becomes right.
In such a relationship constellation, being right means power and influence. Power to overrule, power to get ones point across.
If fighting is part of the way the couple try to communicate, often this will include personal attacks, bringing your partners weakest point forward or reminding your partner about shortcomings of the past.
This leaves very little space and mental room for the “us”, the “we” and the togetherness. We tend to forget why we got together in the first place.
In narrative couples therapy we talk about that the dominating stories that exists in the relationship is overshading the preferred stories, where we are satisfied and fulfilled from the relationship.
Often talking about the stories of the relationship and remembering the more preferred stories can change the positions that each persons is taking in the relationship.
Spirit and Mind ApS offers both couples therapy and individual therapy in English. If your partner does not want to join the therapy, we can also talk about couple related topics during the individual sessions.
Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org or call on 23397673
Spirit and Mind ApS wishes that therapy, coaching, outplacement and couples therapy is a possibility for all people, therefore Spirit and Mind ApS offers:
Student discount if your show a valid student card
Discount to unemployed and people that are retired from work
No discount is given on couples therapy
Sessions also in Danish